Even though she hates me, I feel at peace with myself for saying what I said. Someone had to say something and now I look like the bad guy because I am the only one who chose to do so. It may take a while for her to realize is was out of love and care, but either way, I am glad I said it. Even if I am the only one being real to her face. Many others think like me, but for whatever reason do not speak up.
Besides, I would have been a bad person had I not expressed my concern. I regret not saying it before to someone else and I will not do it again. It haunts me every day. At least now, I feel I can sleep at night.
One day, she will remember what I said. She can banish me from her life all she wants but I will always be waiting because I know she is going to need my help someday.
I love you and I wish you strength, open-mindedness, and courage through this time of your life.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Old shit.
There are a large majority of people who really need to re-revaluate their priorities and grow up. Some things are just so completely unnecessary and such a waste of energy. I wish there were a value-ometer just to show how much effort you should spend on something.
Seriously, age means nothing to me. Years can never be measured the same for any two people. It takes maturity to realize this.
My life is hectic. I am dealing with so much on my plate right now between applying for colleges, tutoring, grading tests, studying, dancing and rehearsing that I don't have time for myself, let alone drama. It's ironic how when you least expect it, drama rolls around the corner. It's ridiculous because, as in my case, it isn't caused by "talking behind someone's back" but rather, not speaking at all. I wonder if someone has come up with a "nicer" way to say, "Let's pretend you don't exist to me and I don't exist to you"? No luck? Figured.
I love Santa Barbara, but sometimes, it reminds me just like Tahoe. Word travels fast through crooked mouths and you can't go to a party without running into some type of drama. I think it's time to make new friends and experience personalities and lives outside of the typical and predictable. This is getting old.
Seriously, age means nothing to me. Years can never be measured the same for any two people. It takes maturity to realize this.
My life is hectic. I am dealing with so much on my plate right now between applying for colleges, tutoring, grading tests, studying, dancing and rehearsing that I don't have time for myself, let alone drama. It's ironic how when you least expect it, drama rolls around the corner. It's ridiculous because, as in my case, it isn't caused by "talking behind someone's back" but rather, not speaking at all. I wonder if someone has come up with a "nicer" way to say, "Let's pretend you don't exist to me and I don't exist to you"? No luck? Figured.
I love Santa Barbara, but sometimes, it reminds me just like Tahoe. Word travels fast through crooked mouths and you can't go to a party without running into some type of drama. I think it's time to make new friends and experience personalities and lives outside of the typical and predictable. This is getting old.
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