Life is all coming together once more! Last weekend, I had my Pagan meet up with Teal again and we performed an Ostara Ritual. Ostara is our Spring Equinox holiday that celebrates the coming of new things of which you have manifested. It is the time for change in a new direction and time to start fresh! I have never felt any better! During the ceremony, we each took a pinecone and burned it in the Bale Fire to represent what we wanted to let go of ourselves. I thought of everything you have been reading in my past posts and my pinecone lit up and fired like a jet airplane! One of the members looked at me and said, "WOW! What did you put IN that thing?!" HAHA! NO MORE DEPRESSION!!!!
Things are still looking up. I have definitely been happier. I am trying to do new things and look at the world a little differently. It's working and I am very proud of myself. I am juggling a lot right now.
As for school, on Wednesday I had my Hematology Lab for Physiology. We all had to prick our finger and find out what blood type we were, check our Hematocrit and also take a sample on a slide and look at all of our own cells on a Microscope! HOW COOL IS THAT?!! I have never known my blood type but my mom always thought that I was O. To my surprise, I ended up being A+! It was so exciting finding that out, but it feels so weird because I always thought I was O! It was a weird feeling, like finding out you are adopted. HAHA! But then I got to see my cells under the microscope. We would get extra credit if we could find any Basophils or Eosinophils (types of WBCs) and I found a Basophil! It was very exciting because they are rare! Looking at my own blood felt like looking at myself in the mirror! It was incredibly cool!
Also, I ended up Acing that Micro midterm I took! WOO HOO! How exciting is that?! I still have yet to find out my Physiology midterm, she is taking forever to grade them! BLAH!
Anyway, tutoring is going great. I taught the forearm this week and that was my achilles heal when I was taking the class! I have such a blast tutoring...all the students call me a nerd. HAHA!
Joey has been in Tahoe all week and I miss him so much! I am driving home tonight after I am done tutoring and I can't wait to get there! I wonder how Precious is going to react since she has been living with me in SB for a while? I just can't wait! I have so much studying to do and I have a paper to write for Pathophysiology but luckily I can write it on Ventricular Septal Defects, which is what I have! I am excited to write it, actually...haha!
Hope everyone's Spring Break is lovely and filled with warmth. The earth is quivering and awake! :)
Peace and Love!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Bottom's up!
Life has CONSUMED ME! But I am fine. I popped out alive after the past few weeks I have been having. Last Wednesday (also known as Brutal Wednesday because I am in school from 9-9 with only an hour break) I had two HUGE midterms. One was for my Microbiology Lab and it was the most excrutiating midterm I have ever taken in my whole life. I would much prefer to get shot in the vagina 8 times before ever taking that stupid midterm ever again. Then, later that day, I had a Physiology midterm and as you may know, I have a very low grade in that class because I BOMBED the first midterm. The pressure was up and the anxiety even higher. It was a rough week.
Tomorrow, I had my first Pathophysiology midterm due. I am nervous. Its an online class and it has been open book most of the time but not this midterm. Ugh! I just wish I could be on Spring Break already, but I don't have mine until NEXT WEEK! And even then, I have to write a research paper during that time for this stupid online class. How irritating is that?!
Work is still going well. I love tutoring and I am only working 1 day at Gio's. It's very nice that Ixchelle and Matt have been nice enough to let me request my wishes. It's great and I am very fortunate.
In the love news: things are on the up once again! I've really been trying hard to change my attitude this week. I've been so rotten and negative since August. It's terrible. Joey told me that he doesn't think he wants to live with me next year because of how horrible I have made it for him. That was the hardest news I have ever had to hear in my whole life because it was true. I'd die if I lost him. And to think that he has been so unhappy because of my rotten attitude just makes me want to run and jump off the biggest cliff! But of course, instead of doing that, I am going to work my ass off to be happier and make this last semester together enjoyable for the both of us. Doing this is not only for him because I don't enjoy being such a sour puss. Its been a very productive week everything is going great. Now he is up in Auburn with his pops visiting for his Spring Break. I think these two weeks apart will be good for us but I am still very sad that right when things turn for the better, we can't spend time with each other. I am trying to pull myself out of this rut I have put myself into. When I am alone, its so hard to concentrate and study because the haunting thought of my own boyfriend/roommate not wanting to live with me next year is enough to make me physically sick (and it has). He deserves so much and I am so afraid its too late for me to make it up to him. I am TERRIFIED that if I make one tiny mistake that the whole relationship will fall apart and there is nothing we can do to repair it. Every night I have nightmares about losing him...some nights its more than one. I don't know how to make these thoughts go away!
I have a constant ache in the pit of my stomach. I need to get my act together because 10-20 years from now, I am going to regret so much! Not only losing the best thing that has ever happened to me, but losing my fun, losing my youth and losing the times I could be happy instead of being depressed.
"Ten to twenty years from now, you are going to regret more of what you DIDN'T do, than what you DID do."
Bottom's up!
Tomorrow, I had my first Pathophysiology midterm due. I am nervous. Its an online class and it has been open book most of the time but not this midterm. Ugh! I just wish I could be on Spring Break already, but I don't have mine until NEXT WEEK! And even then, I have to write a research paper during that time for this stupid online class. How irritating is that?!
Work is still going well. I love tutoring and I am only working 1 day at Gio's. It's very nice that Ixchelle and Matt have been nice enough to let me request my wishes. It's great and I am very fortunate.
In the love news: things are on the up once again! I've really been trying hard to change my attitude this week. I've been so rotten and negative since August. It's terrible. Joey told me that he doesn't think he wants to live with me next year because of how horrible I have made it for him. That was the hardest news I have ever had to hear in my whole life because it was true. I'd die if I lost him. And to think that he has been so unhappy because of my rotten attitude just makes me want to run and jump off the biggest cliff! But of course, instead of doing that, I am going to work my ass off to be happier and make this last semester together enjoyable for the both of us. Doing this is not only for him because I don't enjoy being such a sour puss. Its been a very productive week everything is going great. Now he is up in Auburn with his pops visiting for his Spring Break. I think these two weeks apart will be good for us but I am still very sad that right when things turn for the better, we can't spend time with each other. I am trying to pull myself out of this rut I have put myself into. When I am alone, its so hard to concentrate and study because the haunting thought of my own boyfriend/roommate not wanting to live with me next year is enough to make me physically sick (and it has). He deserves so much and I am so afraid its too late for me to make it up to him. I am TERRIFIED that if I make one tiny mistake that the whole relationship will fall apart and there is nothing we can do to repair it. Every night I have nightmares about losing him...some nights its more than one. I don't know how to make these thoughts go away!
I have a constant ache in the pit of my stomach. I need to get my act together because 10-20 years from now, I am going to regret so much! Not only losing the best thing that has ever happened to me, but losing my fun, losing my youth and losing the times I could be happy instead of being depressed.
"Ten to twenty years from now, you are going to regret more of what you DIDN'T do, than what you DID do."
Bottom's up!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Figures dancing gracefully across my memory...
Life has been a whirlwind! I've had so many tests, quizzes, homework assignments and study sessions that I think my head will explode! I am realizing the effects of taking all these ridiculous classes together in a single semester...
On a happier note, this last Friday I was officially inducted into the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society at SBCC. This is a HUGE moment for me! I've spent a lot of my life not being a "academic" person, so to be inducted is an incredible feeling! The society hosts many events and later this month they host a bowling night to get the know other members. I am hoping to make some good friends there.
I am still working very hard in school. I am working hard for tutoring and even at Gio's. Life has been very stressful, so when I recently got my Tax Return, I went and bought a new Samsung netbook. I am in LOVE WITH IT! I take it everywhere and the battery lasts forever, so its great! It's so nice to take it to Physiology lectures and study on the bus and I am just so in love! :) It is fabulous! I definitely recommend getting one if you are ever curious!
Things with the love life are interesting. Its a definite roller coaster. It was good, then it was bad, and now its good again. I think we've finally gotten to the point (and the problem) and we are trying to work things out. Its very hard, though, I do have to admit. It feels like trying to rebuild a marriage. But for me, its worth it because what we had (once upon a time) was stuff you only hear about in movies.
Anyway, just wanted a little update. I am going to go finish studying for a Micro Lab quiz I have tomorrow on all sorts of testings, media and bacterial results. It is very frustrating...
Ciao!
On a happier note, this last Friday I was officially inducted into the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society at SBCC. This is a HUGE moment for me! I've spent a lot of my life not being a "academic" person, so to be inducted is an incredible feeling! The society hosts many events and later this month they host a bowling night to get the know other members. I am hoping to make some good friends there.
I am still working very hard in school. I am working hard for tutoring and even at Gio's. Life has been very stressful, so when I recently got my Tax Return, I went and bought a new Samsung netbook. I am in LOVE WITH IT! I take it everywhere and the battery lasts forever, so its great! It's so nice to take it to Physiology lectures and study on the bus and I am just so in love! :) It is fabulous! I definitely recommend getting one if you are ever curious!
Things with the love life are interesting. Its a definite roller coaster. It was good, then it was bad, and now its good again. I think we've finally gotten to the point (and the problem) and we are trying to work things out. Its very hard, though, I do have to admit. It feels like trying to rebuild a marriage. But for me, its worth it because what we had (once upon a time) was stuff you only hear about in movies.
Anyway, just wanted a little update. I am going to go finish studying for a Micro Lab quiz I have tomorrow on all sorts of testings, media and bacterial results. It is very frustrating...
Ciao!
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