My Fun.

First week of school went really well. I've been in an unusually optimistic mood all week (until tonight, of course, but we'll get to that later). Wednesdays are brutal. 2 labs, both 3 hours, a 3 hour lecture and another normal lecture. 9am to 9pm, back to back to back to back. But it's fun! School is fun for me now. Micro is SUPER hard, but everything we will learn pertains to my interest. Same goes for both Physiology and Pathophysiology. I honestly think Gym will be my hardest class.

Tutoring is great! I have all 3 of Barry's labs and I am also running the Friday open lab again. Each lab, I have been so into helping people that I look at the clock and feel sad when it's over. I feel like I could tutor and teach the new students for days on end without feeling tired. I feel great. I feel like it's filled a void in my life that I have been missing forever.

Gio's asked me to come back for one day a week. CHEAP PIZZA! That was my downfall and why I am taking the Gym course this semester...

I feel like I have got it all together. I've got my study group who are all taking the same classes as me and we have the same fun when learning. Precious is doing so well in my apartment. She's not afraid of noises anymore and was actually eating grass and chasing lizards outside today! I am so happy to see her when I come home. It is definitely helping the depression that I have been in for the past 6 months.

That is...all up until tonight.

It's amazing how one person who you don't even care about can make optimism shrink to the size of a pea in just a few sentences. I really don't like being criticized for hating IV, not finding partying every weekend to be awesome and being called an old lady. Okay, so I call myself an old lady, but for jokes. It doesn't feel as good when someone else calls you an old lady and rolls their eyes at you.

I try, but I simply don't get along with people my age, I guess. Almost all the people I actually enjoy hanging out with are older. Or have the same interests as I do: like school. School is fun for me. I don't think it torture. I really enjoy learning.

Maybe it's because I was never a "stellar" student in high school. I skid by just to graduate and somehow got a 3.0 out of that. I've found my stride. I feel smart for the first time in my whole life. I've found something I love (and something I don't love). I don't deserve to be treated with such disrespect and unkindness that these people (and generally Isla Vista) treat me. I am so ready to break up, move on and live somewhere where I can enjoy my own space and not hear college kids screaming, banging against things, blasting music and car alarms ALL THE EFFING TIME. I'M JUST OVER IT!!!!

I think that's all I should put for now. It's already too much and I just needed to vent. I am going to go knit now. My cat and my old lady habits have more important things to do than to get shit faced and fucked up everyone Thursday thru Saturday.

YOU'RE PAYING FOR THIS EDUCATION, SO FUCKING USE IT.

Harsh Criticism.

I hope your eyes are ready to see this because shit's about to get nasty.

Pregnancy. A beautiful time in a woman's life and a magical experience for her partner. It's a true miracle to understand the complications of making a life. TRULY.

Last time I checked, I took the SAME sex education classes as these girls. They sat next to me. We talked. We said we'd never get the STD's. Never get pregnant too young. We all did the Baby Think It Over project. The ironic thing is that I remember some of these girls having strong voiced opinions on the right to abortions and "Laws Off My Body!" politics.

Why can't girls my age just keep their goddamn legs closed? A few are already on their THIRD! It's outrageous! And I know I am judging these girls but one of my best friends and my sister both had babies at 20 and unplanned. I've personally seen the challenge it is to be a young parent.

Who in their right mind wants to keep their child at 20 years old? YOU'RE A BABY TO BEGIN WITH! It's frustrating because I feel these girls are being selfish. This innocent life is being brought into this world and most of the time without a solid family or solid income/finances. I seriously doubt the capabilities of these girls. I just know that because they are my age, I am even older then some, and I could no way, shape or form raise a child right now. This age in our life is supposed to be a selfish one on our part so that we grow up and can become selfless parents for our future children.

While you may think I regard these girls harshly, I still wish the circumstance is different and they rise above the odds. No way in my heart do I wish something bad on these girls, but I do think that having babies seems to have become a "trend" because they happen to be dating someone they think they "love." These are all my personal opinions and you have every right to hate me or judge me for them but I just think that my generation of girls is smarter than that.

WAKE UP, PEOPLE! These birth control methods are epic failures: Abstinence, Withdrawl and the Rhythm Cycle. USE BIRTH CONTROL. If you can't afford it, go to Planned Parenthood. If you're too lazy, then PUT ON A FREAKING CONDOM. If you can't do any of those things, you don't deserve to be a parent.

Meh!