This summer has been good for me. I've been through a lot of ups and downs, all with the perspective of myself. It's appropriate that I started off my days reading a book titled "The Last Time I Was Me." I always have much more personal growth in the summer, something I think I can blame on my firey Sagittarian birth day.
One theme of the whole summer has been my ability to feel comfortable alone. This was ultimately the loneliest summer in Honey History. I've been living completely on my own the whole time, had no best friend in my town, had to make a whole new group of friends, and force myself to get past my hesitation and leap into the unknown. It's quite possibly been thing that could have ever happened to me.
Today I realized that my fear of being alone is gone. I don't have the sickness in my stomach anymore. Although, I will admit that it's not something I see in my near future, I would accept it. Putting myself in a hypothetical situation, I can actually visualize looking forward to it because of some of the positive things I have experienced this summer.
I finally feel independent. I feel like I have many outlets and not just one anymore. If one outlet blew, the others would back me up. It took a lonely summer to figure it out, and I am so glad it happened.
I've continuously been in a relationship the past 6 and a half years (not with the same person). People always told me, "You need time to be alone and be by yourself." I never really understood why. I get it, now. It's not a bad thing. Its making time to love yourself and enjoy yourself so that when someone else wants to enjoy YOU, YOU wont be an issue.
I just have a lot of thoughts going through my head right now. I can sense that my future is changing. Something is going to happen (if it already hasn't) and the wind in my sails is about to change. I have prepared and I have trained and I will face my challenge head on with a strength I didn't have before.
Don't be afraid. Just do it.
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